I always get a feeling that I should become a priest especially when I see them offering mass or giving a sermon but I’m in a committed relationship and I really love her. How do I deal with such situation?

Praise God for your desire to seek his will in your life! I guess the first thing I would want you to know is that it’s okay to have conflicting desires, and you are not alone. Many, many men have found themselves in your situation. I also want to thank you for sharing something which is a very personal matter of the heart and choosing to be vulnerable in that way.

Unlike some other questions we’ve talked about on this site, your question is not a matter of right and wrong or of truth and falsehood. What I mean by that is that the two things you are caught between (a loving relationship and the priesthood of Jesus Christ) are both good. The answer for you may be different than it is for someone else, because God has called you in a special and particular way. In another post, we talked about some general themes of discernment and vocation. Consider checking it out. For your question specifically, though, it may help to dive further into some principles of discernment.

One great question to ask when it comes to discernment is: “Am I with God?” It’s good to ask in a general way, but also throughout the day and in particular moments. When you are with the woman you love, are you with God? When you think about priesthood, are you with God? See where you are staying with God. This is the heart of St. Ignatius of Loyola’s examen prayer, which is a daily reflection on the events of the day.

Of course, God is everywhere. So you are always “with” him in some way. But where do you feel his presence most clearly? Where do you feel your heart is filled with his love? What makes you feel closer to him? Continue asking these questions and begin journaling about it. Maybe one day you felt closest to God when you heard a song that touched your heart. Maybe another day you felt closest to God when you spent time with the woman you love. Maybe another day you felt closest to God after eating a great meal. Don’t try to answer your vocational questions yet. Just learn to listen for God’s presence and acquire a taste for it.

Then, over time, see what thoughts, feelings, and desires arise in your heart–do this in the good moments and in the bad moments. The good moments where you feel peaceful, close to God, filled with love, etc. are called consolation. The bad moments where God feels far away, prayer feels dry and difficult, you feel discouraged or confused, etc. are called desolation. When you feel consoled, what is happening inside? When you feel desolate, what is happening inside?

A good spiritual director will be able to take these experiences from prayer and daily life and help you “crack them open” further, to see how God is speaking in those experiences. Not everyone has access to a spiritual director, though. If that is your case, don’t be discouraged! Start by focusing on a deep and consistent relationship with God.

I can’t really answer your question by saying “here’s what you should do.” However, I can tell you from my own experiences that God wants you to be happy and he will help you to discover his will for your life. He will also take everything you give to him and use it for your good–even your sins. He is not a cruel master who wants to bend you to his will; he is a loving Father, who is already pleased with you. If you know, believe, and experience that you are the Father’s delight, I can guarantee you that you are already well on the way to your answer.

As a practical tip, it might also be good to just “take a step” and see what happens. Sometimes we try to figure out the solutions to our problems before we start–but with God it hardly ever goes that way. He prefers to lead us on a gradual journey, because it helps us learn to rely on him constantly and trust him to lead us. So “taking a step” is a way of making that gradual journey. “Taking a step” might mean talking to your pastor or an elder for advice. Maybe it means taking a day for retreat. Maybe it means talking about the future with this woman you love. Maybe it just means praying with Scripture more. It could mean any number of things. Take that step, and trust that God will meet you there and help you. Let him lead you on this journey!